Tuesday, July 21, 2009

"She aint goin NOWHERE" phenomenon (Why some men act the way they do)

"Why does he treat me bad then when i threaten to leave or finally get fed up he tries to straighten up?".

I believe that this phenomenon happens for one MAIN reason. You see..... Men can be careless, non thoughtful and/or non appreciative sometimes or they can just simply be heartless. If you're dating or are in a relationship with a guy who is really not ready to be in a relationship for personal reasons or who still likes to "play the field" then he wont act how you want him to, no matter how much arguing, complaining or compromising you are doing.

For SOME men(NOT ALL) this phenomenon works in the brain like a percentage system. Im going to break down what I believe in how the percentage chain works (based on my old thoughts what I have witnessed and learned in my years on this earth) don’t take offense but I’m just telling you how it is for a good amount of guys you randomly meet out here:

Start off at 100% interest when they DON'T know you and are attracted to your looks (face, booty, boobs, smile, or whatever it may be they liked about you upon first site)

1. They get to know a little about you, talk to you on the phone or text a few times (-10% interest, 90% interest left)

2. You go on a few dates with them, learn more about each other (-10% interest, 80% left)

3. You two have sex....(-30% IF its good, -50% if it wasn’t so 50% or 40% interest left between them and you in their minds)

4. here is the split in the road, to some guys, having sex a few times with girls is enough for them, no more need to even get deeper into the whole thing, on to the next CHALLENGE. Other guys may say, ok....she is cool, everything is good so far and I don’t really have another chick I can call my main so we can keep kickin it (50% interest stage).

5. So they decide to keep talking to you after the 50% stage, they NOW see you as someone to pay attention to and try to get to know a lil bit more advanced than an average chick (+20%----70% interest)

6. Ahhh they notice you call them often/daily, you love hanging out and you tell them stuff like "I miss you"------> MINUS 20%!! NOW they know they got you where they want you, head over heels thinking about them, maybe sex on demand, so hey, now they can slack off on doing stuff and get back into the field a lil bit, meet a few more girls on the side to play around with and juggle it out, this is fun to a lot of guys.

7. IF you’re even in a relationship with a guy like this at that point, you may start to NOTICE some slacking, few less calls, maybe fewer texts or behavior you haven’t seen from him before when things were NEW between you two and he was fronting a different personality. But NOW, he is comfortable, that’s a term that can be GOOD and bad at the same time when a guy tells you they are comfortable with you. So----back to 50% in his mind. 50% he has interest for you and 50% it really won’t hurt him if you never talk to him again.

8. Based on your esteem, confidence or gullible nature and how you Re-ACT to his bulls**t, he will pretty much KNOW "she aint goin nowhere" so they will really start getting lazy/careless/reckless when it comes to dealing with you because the THRILL is all gone, nothing new to chase but they may have some kind of feelings for you so they don’t just outright diss you. They MAY even say they feel these strong feelings for you but...probably not. If they trip on you for not calling or coming to hang with them, DONT think its because they actually love or care strongly for you....... its most likely linked to them feeling that their "control" is being weakened on your brain or they just want to make sure they have a secure fall back source for sex that they do not want to lose (ALOT of women get this act twisted and mistake it for the guy having equal feelings)

9. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER make a THREAT to any guy saying you will leave them or if they don’t straighten up then you will leave them unless you are SERIOUS, like 100% serious that you will leave them because if a guy slacks off and hears all these threats and sees NO action of you leaving them, finding another man to hang with or anything like that then their respect, morale and view of you will GREATLY DECREASE!! they will tell you they will change this, that and the 3rd but nothing will ever change, they may just try to do an extra thing or two to shut you up from complaining and to keep their mind control on you.---->30% interest in you left at this point

10. Now your finally fed up and ready to leave or stop messing with them, ohhhhh interest back up to 60% temporarily for the guys when they feel that they may be losing you, losing their mind control, losing their MAIN source for on demand sex or losing that person to call when they are bored. NOW they have to formulate a game plan to "get you back in check" tell you what you want to hear, take you where you want to go and act how you want them to act, and IF you fall for it, this behavior may last for hmmmmm about a MONTH maybe, then........back to 30% interest, and refer back to #7 and go down to #10 again, over and over and over and over because it will become a cycle that will not end until you finally get the confidence to LEAVE and save the rest of your self esteem or until the guy just casually tells himself "let me calm down, I don’t need to be doing this girl like that, I wanna be all the man I can be for her"....that occurrence is VERY RARE so don't look forward to that being the case lol.

Messages of my 10 points are: If you openly let a guy know that you are not feeling his behavior and you do not notice a long term change or it seems like he is telling you what you want to hear then...JUST MOVE ON, if you don’t feel secure in the relationship for one reason or the other then JUST MOVE ON. There comes a point in life where you have to ask yourself, WHO IS MORE IMPORTANT? MYSELF AND MY SANITY OR HIM? Why be angry on a weekly or daily basis? Why be stressed? Why be insecure with a person? Why is a single MAN worth making you feel all of these NEGATIVE feelings so often? He's NOT worth it; Love thyself before you love any man other than God or your father. Life is like a big taste testing booth, you will try some things that may be good, bad, good but not your taste, or bad for you but you know it will be good for someone else, point is, next time you come back, you will know what flavors you like, what to stay away from and what to recommend to your friends.

If you don’t experience pain and failure in the past then how will you TRULY know when you have the best thing for YOU and your future?----->100%
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11 comments:

  1. Great post. I agree 100% and I'm a female. I've seen all the behaviors you posted, from an ex I dealt with for 4 years. It was 4 years of wasted life, but I've finally moved on.

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  2. I agree with everything that was said! I am a female and don't understand why this happens. I went through it when I was younger but I like to learn from other peoples mistakes as well as my own. So that happened one time. To be honest, after that I began to play the game with the mindset of a guy. Play their game with their rules and see how they like it. I must admit, it's a lot more fun with thier rules! Especially to see the look on their faces and it keeps thier interest at 100%!

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  3. Bro! You put it out there for them to read with their own eyes. But, one thing I have learned from my years on this earth is some women are stubborn and stick to their guns! Now thats a hard cycle to break. When that 'good man' does comes along she's either to busy playing the field herself to notice or she has been mistreated by the very guy you described aboved to even notice whats in front of her!

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  4. I agree, for the most part, with this. I think what's most important about all of this comes in the 10th point: this behavior is going to continue over and over to the point it becomes a cycle until you have the confidence, courage and self esteem to realize you're worth more than all of this and move on. Now of course that's easier said then done but when a woman's fed up...well there's nothing left to say.

    I think for most dating women, we've all been in relationships and dealt with many if not all of these behaviors. So I want to say thank you for providing a male's prospective on the issue. Your words are truly appreciated!!

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  5. Hey thanks for the comments, i appreciate you all taking the time to read some of my work. Yeah im just trying to provide a different outlook on things, I notice that what is common sense to some may not be so common to another person so you cant assume what anyone should do or should think because everyone experiences different things at different points in their lives.

    Im here to help as best as I can though, message me anytime, let me know if you have new blog ideas or need someone to talk too about a certain issue.

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  6. WOW! I think every woman should read this. It really gave me insight on a relationship I am currently dealing with. When a relationship has ran its course, you truly know. Continuing to be involved, is something I can't explain. Thanks for breaking things down!!!!!

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  7. i dnt think anyone could have explained this as good as you did...this was by far one of the best relationship articles i've read (:

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  8. Thanks, I was just trying to break it down as best as I could while being as accurate as possible :-)

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