Monday, March 28, 2011

REAL Friends Vs. "Friends" (You ultimately are as good as the company you CHOOSE to keep)

The HOT topic huh?<span> What is a REAL friend and what is a fake friend? I think people OFTEN know who isnt good for their circle but they just CANT or dont want to make the necessary CUTS for one reason....or the other</span> ( emotions, comfort, denial or maybe they are more similar to the persons negative traits than that realize so its a PRIORITY to keep them around). <span>YOU WANT A GREAT START TO CHANGING YOUR LIFE OR MATURING AS A PERSON? THE FRIEND CIRCLE IS THE BEST PLACE TO START!"</span>

Some people say LOVE is a word thats misused, I beg to differ. I think the word FRIEND is abused, misused, under-appreciated and misleading these days. Even if a person says I LOVE YOU, and its not in the context that you would HOPE, you at LEAST know the person CARES about you and care about your well-being (Which is a GREAT THING). Life is short, if you love someone...TELL THEM, as a friend, family member or as a lover, they will know what you mean depending on the relationship, NO NEED TO EXPLAIN why or how you deeply care for someone...its just a feeling you cant control.

These days, the word FRIEND is being used for every damn thing lol. I see people call booty calls "Friends", they call people who bring the BAD out of them a "friend", they call people they like(sexually)a "Friend" and they call all of their simple associates a "FRIEND". Take a step back...now how do you think people will differentiate who loves/cares for you as a REAL friend and who just wants to sleep with you? lol In a relationship, this POOR use of the word "FRIEND" can be a NIGHTMARE and trust killer to see the type of people you use the word FRIEND with (its a STRONG word to some people).

Real Friends: Are better accounted for by your INNER desire, admiration and appreciation of them and what you two share, their existence means SOMETHING to your LIFE, never questionable, only beneficial. Their place is SECURE in your life and you plan on them being in your future FOR SURE!

"Friends" : Are better accounted for by you just being bored and getting to know more and more people just so you are never feeling lonely and always have backup people to hang out with. Their existence is more like "I like them being around for NOW because they give me the attention I want" And when someone else comes along to give you the same attention, you can easily switch priorities/attenion focus on the NEW person(over...and over...and over again)

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Real Friends: Can be called at ANY time, ANY hour if you need assistance and they will TRY to help you

"Friends" : You look at their names in your phonebook and KNOW not to even think about contacting them in an emergency unless its a DESPERATION attempt
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Real Friends: Tell you what you NEED to hear sometimes, good AND Bad. If you are tripping then you are tripping and they question you sometimes to make you think about your own actions

"Friends" : dont really GIVE A DAMN about what you are doing if it doesnt include them, doesnt effect them personally or doesnt hinder their "chance" to sleep with you. So they agree with EVERYTHING you do or dont care to challenge your thoughts.
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Real Friends: Can make you mad but dont break your heart. If a problem happens, you KNOW and are CONFIDANT you both just need a breather and everything will be good at the end of the day

"Friends" : Dont mind if they break your heart, they just want you to do what they want you to do, and they show you that, over and over again! Mentality is "If we stop talking...i dont give a f**k" THAT IS ALL
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Real Friends: Will hang with you while you are DOWN, while you are Sad, while you are happy or even while you are on your period, the timing means nothing.

"Friends": Dont really wanna hear about your problems, dont CARE to hear your problems(even though some FAKE it), and really ONLY wanna hang out when you are in a good mood, when you are drunk or when you are not on your period(women)
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Real Friends: KNOW you, really know your likes, care about your dislikes and take them into consideration when doing things!

"Friends" : Know somethings you like, know somethings you dislike BUT they use that as a control method or weakness for you once they learn the things you dont like, learn the statements you dont like to hear, etc. It becomes their POWER over you when they want a reaction
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Real Friends: are HAPPY for you when you get into a relationship and wouldn't mind or would like to meet your partner sometime to learn more about them since their FRIEND is in a relationship with them. Real friends click LIKE on facebook when you post a picture with your boo, make a status about being happy with someone, etc.

"Friends" : Are dissapointed that you got into a relationship with someone other than them or you messed up the sexual relationship that you two use to share. They are NOT happy, it shows. they will often IGNORE your relationship and still flirt with you or try to go as far as YOU LET THEM. After they see you are serious about your relationship, you WILL HEAR FROM THEM MUCH LESS OR NOT AT ALL. Ultimately you get the idea they were PLOTTING on you rather than caring about you! Fake Friend 101
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Real Friends: At the END of the day, you know WHY you have them in your life, you KNOW you want them around forever and you KNOW they can/will make you a better person overall. THERE IS NEVER A CONFUSION

"Friends" : You may WANT them in your life but sometimes you DONT KNOW WHY, sometimes you even consider cutting them off because of complications, and when people ask you, WHY ARE YOU EVEN FRIENDS WITH THEM? Your answer either consists of something that indicates you are just comfortable with them since they been around for so long, you still have feelings for them or you cant give any reasons how they will HELP you grow as a person on the inside
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Real Friends: Can eventually lead into a beautiful relationship IF that eventually happens somehow. The reason for being friends is not to plot on each other, you are there for them whether they are in a relationship and there to support them if not in a relationship with NO PROBLEM.

"Friends": START off as a sexual interest, often mention sex and the desire to GET TO KNOW you is very LOW or not genuine, its just "somthing you do" when you want to get in good and secure someones mind/heart for a sex relationship. They dont want you or your "Talents" going noooooowhere and will often even start a relationship with you to secure it even though they still doing their thing on the side.
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And SADLY
REAL FRIENDS: sometimes get prioritized less or dont feel as appreciated when you are worrying about pleasing your "Friends" who may be temporary to your life and often NOT EVEN BENEFICIAL TO YOU. But REAL FRIENDS will try to tell you about yourself with hopes not to let things become too distant(some people VANISH when "Friends" come around, tsk tsk tsk). Despite what you believe, a REAL FRIEND may leave and not come back because they are HURT, it goes DEEP, when its not just a surface level offense.

"Friends" : Want it their way, right away. If you dont talk to or hang out with your true friends, they dont care nor would they tell you to go hang out with someone else. They want you to cater to them and live FOR THEM....OR ELSE! Your relationship is best described as "Oh...we have moments when we talk and moments when we dont talk, we are fine like that"  So they go and come in your life based on your level of boredom or if "they are acting right" no pain and defintely NO GAIN(For you).


So what is your perception of the word now? STILL think your ride or die Friend should have the same title as someone you dont even know why you want in your life? Damn...are you even a "Friend" to someone? LOL you can be in this category too. I just call them "associates" or "cool people" to be respectful but REAL FRIENDS are VIP AND NOT COMMON TO COME ACROSS! WE SHOULD TREAT THEM LIKE IT....
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