This is about new daters/couples and the biggest mistakes they make when starting their friendship or relationship. Despite what you or anyone else feels, rushing into a relationship does not = relationship security and knowledge of your partner. It is evident that there is ONE key to helping you know someone as a relationship partner and as a friend and that is TIME.
Some people think that they can spend 24/7 with their partner and that would be sort of a substitute for knowing each other over a year or so and that is FALSE. There are NO shortcuts to knowing someone. Spending 24/7 with a person is only a shortcut to ensuring failure for the future of the relationship. With some people I witness (and im sure you know about this) something I call the intro of DOOM. This is the period when things are new (Generally within 0-6 months of knowing someone); the couple spends TOO much time together and greatly reduces talk time and personal interactions with their FRIENDS, FAMILIES, other relationships and their original lifestyle.
This is VERY bad, I can assure you in the 50-100 relationships I have seen from friends, family or associates, only about ONCE has this method led into a long term relationship, and it's very rare. It seems people think "Oh if my partner wants to spend 24/7 with me, that must me they love me"…NO. To me, it means either YOU are crazy…THEY are crazy, or BOTH of you are just silly.
From the sample of rushed relationships I have given advice on, I see some common reasons that people push to rush in a relationship:
1. They want to make you the center of their lives before you find out about their history. Basically they want you to get very tied-in the relationship before you find out or realize why nobody else may have stayed them.
2. The person has a hard time of being single and alone. Their last relationship probably ended anytime between 0-4 months before you met them. My friends…..THAT IS NEVER A GOOD SIGN. The inability to be alone is related to mental health issues whether people know this or not. Face paced relationships serve as a distraction away from their other feelings and issues.
3. The person has child(ren), maybe not financially stable so they seek a partner who can serve as a person for their children to look up to, help watch the children and/or be a second source of income to help with financial stress. They are so anxious to get that last part of their puzzle (a man or a woman) that they rush a marriage to do so.
For a suggestion, if you see someone 24/7, 20/7 or even 7 days a week…STOP!! Not only is it unhealthy it can also help you see what type of person you are dealing with if they can accept the change of pace in the relationship. For a new relationship to work, BOTH people MUST make OTHER plans, see friends and don't be so available to the person you are dating. Your friends may not wanna see your partner every time they see you. Life exists outside of the relationship so its up to you to act like it. Your partner may not like it but if they are not crazy, then they will honor it. People who are INSECURE or potentially DANGEROUS people will blame problems on you or make you feel guilty for wanting to talk to/hang with friends or wanting time AWAY from them. This should be a red flag as to whether this person is someone safe to date.
Rushing a relationship—whether it's dating 24/7, moving in early together, or marrying within the first year is a mistake that renders not enough time to TRULY know a person. This includes the persons 'true' (as opposed to 'stated') background, their character, and maybe their own dangerousness. It takes sufficient TIME to build a HEALTHY relationship. It takes no time at all to IMITATE one.
My predictions for those who 1. Move in together 2. Get into a relationship or 3. Claim they are in love with a person within the first 4 months of knowing them, their relationship will be doomed by the 6th month. And if they stay together, one of the partners will not be happy at all, it may be the convenience and sex that keeps them there for an extended time rather than their actual connection keeping them around……Think about it people…..you get what you pay for(since TIME IS MONEY).